Pen&Paper

Being a man/boy has been symbolic of strength or power or adventurism for long. It is considered a privilege in our society. Every parent or at least most of them wants to have a son. A couple expecting a baby, hopes it to be a baby boy. We are considered the true future of our family and though verbally but handed over the responsibilities to take our family to new heights, at the birth itself. From the time a boy is born, the chatters of what will he become in the future start. Some say,” he will become a doctor”, and to some, his hands look like of a future engineer and so on.No one bothers to ask or at least considers, what that boy would like to be.

When we start going to school, It feels so great to be out at first, as we get to see the outside world. we make new friends and find out, what interests us the most. But the good feeling doesn’t last long, as the moment we enter schools the aspirations of our parents, of us doing good at everything, starts growing stronger. Instead of learning, we start competing. Everyone expects us to be the best, as we are the flag bearers of our family’s future.

Everything we do comes with a disclaimer of not letting our families down. The cousins which were our best buddies, start turning into our biggest competitors. The board exams become a matter of pride for everyone in our society. Those scoring highest, get labeled as champions and others as losers. If we are amongst those losers, it’s no less than a nightmare. We start getting scolded and often get the remarks like,” you have disappointed me”, “you have ruined the reputation of this family”, “What kind of example are you setting up for your younger brother or sister” and so on.

For us failure is not an option, we only have to succeed. We are not allowed to try something we like, as a mere thought of us failing at something is not acceptable to our families. We can’t fail, as that will jeopardize the whole dream of a bright future. our choice of subjects becomes a topic of concern for our families. Every parent looks at it with utmost curiosity and scrutiny. science is considered the best, what if even it doesn’t interest us, commerce is for mediocre and we should think twice before choosing and arts is not even bothered to be considered, as if, it’s something inferior, and so are the one choosing it.

By the time our teenage life reaches an end, We are at the cusp of taking a big leap; we are going to be college students. We get reminded that teenage days are over and we should act responsibly. We Must get into IITs or AIIMS or else our future looks bleak. Not all of us manage to do so. Amidst all the scolding and recitations of sharma’s/mishra’s/gupta’s son got into IIT or some premiere institute we sit secluded with our heads down with shame, in our own house. Some of us manage to cope with it, while some succumb to it. Some of us don’t feel strong enough to face this humiliation of failure and put an end to this miserable, failure-labeled life.

Men are always projected as macho. Showing our emotions is a sign, that we are weak. Everyone must be familiar with the dialogue, “Mard Ko Dard Nahi Hota”.Yeah, that’s how we live, hiding everything i.e pain, depression, and burying it somewhere deep inside our hearts. Being a man means we can’t show our weakness. Even when we need help, we can’t seek it. If we feel pain and cry, it’s a shame as that’s not something a man should do. Amidst all the hue and cry of equality and patriarchy, on a date, if we forget or let the girl pay we get judged. If someone misbehaves with a girl in front of us and we choose to talk some sense in him, we hear remarks like, “you are not a man”.If we indulge in fights then we get labeled as the poster boy of, “toxic masculinity”.No matter what we do, it’s never enough. Everyone talks about a mother’s love and her sacrifices but no one ever appreciates the love that our father showers upon us.

We don’t choose to be a boy/man as it’s something gods decide. But we choose to live by the virtues that a man must-have. To me being a man means having courage, strength, and an adventurous spirit. It means being honest to the one I love. When my family is in trouble, I am their pillar of strength. At troubled times, I am their shoulder to cry upon. I am there to protect my family against every danger. Being a man we work tirelessly to ensure a better future for our families. It means taking responsibility for everything and stop blaming others for it. If I fight with my girlfriend, it is my fault: A woman is just a mirror, projecting my lies to me. If I get betrayed, it’s because I am dumb and immature, as I trusted someone who doesn’t deserve my trust. It means being generous and kind. Being a man means to not indulge in jibbering or self-praise, but instead let our success do the talking. It means to raise our voice against something, that is wrong. And most importantly it means making the world a safer place for women. Women should not feel insecure around us, rather they should feel at home when we are around.