Pen&Paper

Alone or being lonely is something that we all feel or experience in our journey of life. It has a deeper meaning and varies from person to person. It has a broad sense and differs on the conditions we live in or in what state our mind is. A person stranded alone on an island can feel lonely because he has no one to interact with. A person mourning the death of a dear one feels lonely because he is emotionally broken and feels lost. Many such situations make people feel alone.  But is it just the absence of another person that makes us feel the solitude, or is it rather a state of mind?

Last year, a pandemic-induced lockdown left a huge number of people stranded. They were shocked, traumatized, and left alone. Many of my colleagues, friends, and even family members were locked in their apartments alone in the huge urban jungles (cities). The cities bustling with the deafening noise of vehicles and huge crowds were looking deserted. It felt as if life was on the brink of an end.

It was at that very juncture, when I grappled with the question, as to what loneliness, solitude, or being alone is? As we were discussing, is it just the absence of another person, or does it have something to do with our state of mind? Is it inherently bad or it can be good as well?

In today’s era, depression(culminating from loneliness) is a huge health hazard. We see a lot of people grappling with depression. Though some come out of it as champions others meet a dreadful end, by submitting to it. Depression has never been given much thought in our society and remains taboo. If someone talks about it, people burst into laughter or end up making fun of the person who shares that he is facing it.

Our country is a populous place. It is hard to be alone here, as no matter where you go, you will find it hard to be alone. Our cities and villages alike are bustling with people. We have so many people around us to talk to, and yet we feel the absence of someone who would understand us. We often come to know about people ending their lives, students committing suicide as they failed to score high. Why do they do so? Was that the only choice? These questions keep hitting me, to look for answers.

When a person, who is feeling alone or depressed meets a tragic end, I always wonder, as to what led him/her to make that decision? How is it that some people come out of their loneliness and some end up suffering? Why is it that we mostly see the negative impacts of loneliness? Is being alone a bad thing? How can we change our perspective of being alone?  Why can’t being alone be a positive thing? After all, when we are alone we have got the best company in ourselves, isn’t it?

India is the land of great sages, yogis, thinkers, philosophers, and propagators of great religions. India is the land of finding moksha. Yoga is the greatest gift to the world and humanity from India. A yogi always reiterates the importance of meditation(dhyana) for which being alone is of utmost importance. Yoga emphasizes the role of being alone and focussing on channeling our inner energy to attain spiritual wisdom. When we are alone it helps us to introspect ourselves. We get the time to think as to what we want to achieve in our lives. By being alone we get the time to think as to what is stopping us from achieving something. It helps us to find out our true strengths.

Although many would argue that being alone is bad or impacts our mental health, I would like to differ. Have you ever wondered as to what might have happened, when that apple fell from the tree and Newton had been accompanied by someone? Well, there is a probability that they would have started fighting for the apple or indulge in talking about it. The idea of gravitational law might have skipped Newton’s mind and he would have been munching on that apple. But being alone and away from any sort of distraction allowed “Newton ” to ponder upon the thought, as to why the apple fell down the tree and not went up towards the sky. Had Siddhartha not left his princely life behind, could he have been the great “Buddha”? I don’t think so and most of you will agree with that. Being alone forced Siddhartha to think about the dilemmas of life and death. It led him on a quest to find out the answers to the greatest mystery of human life. By being alone he got to delve into his mind. His alone time gave him the time to attain spiritual wisdom and “Mahaparinirvana”.

Many such examples are present in our world which proves that being alone is not a bad thing. When we are alone we get to concentrate on something that matters and our observation skills improve significantly. Being alone led to many important discoveries as it gave the person in that situation time to observe or think or experiment. Most of you must be familiar with the story of James watt. Once as a kid James watt was in the kitchen, he saw the tea kettle in which tea was boiling. He was amused to see that the lid was forced to move up due to the steam produced from boiling water. He sat there for a long time observing the power of steam. Though not immediately but in the distant future it inspired James watt to invent the steam engine. What might have happened had he not been there alone? Humanity might have missed one of the greatest inventions or at least it might have been long delayed.  So next time when you are alone, don’t panic, you might be on the cusp of a great invention😄.

Whenever you feel alone and restless don’t be afraid. You should concentrate and try to look at what you can do to use it to your advantage. If you ask for my suggestion, I would say being positive is the best way to live life. You can use your alone time doing something that you have always wanted to do. You can read good books which always help you in various ways by inspiring you. You can spend some time in your garden with plants, they always soothe us and bring calm to our minds. You can use the alone time to acquire some new skills, which will brighten your prospects.

We all feel alone and helpless at times but that should not dictate our way of life. We have so many people around us, who love us and care for us. We just need to talk to them and seek their advice. Even if you are feeling very alone, don’t keep everything inside. Yell if you want to, from the top of the hill. Spit out all the negativities surrounding your mind. You will be a better person after you pass that phase as you would have found a better version of yourself by now.